General – Page 2 – An American in Kerala

I’m a PREGNANT American in Kerala!

Baby "Little Bean" Zachariah as of June 26, 2013. I have vowed not to post ultrasound pics on Facebook, but that doesn't mean I won't do it on here. — Baby “Little Bean” Zachariah as of June 26, 2013. I have vowed not to post ultrasound pics on Facebook, but that doesn’t mean I won’t do it on here.

Okay, soooo, I am starting to write this blog entry on May 31, 2013, in hopes that I won’t forget all of the things I want to write. First, let’s flashback to the beginning on May – I was diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome. In a shocking twist of fate, it also turns out I was already a couple weeks pregnant when I was diagnosed, but I certainly didn’t know then. I had an ultrasound done and everything. I was given medicine and told to come back in six weeks to see how the meds were helping. To sum it up, we were not expecting a pregnancy until my hormones and all that were straightened out, which could have taken months. Flash forward to a week and a half after my diagnosis, I was experiencing cramps and a slight nausea after eating heavy meals. Oh, and mood swings. Mood swings like you would not believe. Finally, the last week of May came around, and I still had no period. So, I did what any responsible adult would do – I googled my symptoms and the results showed that they were an early sign of pregnancy, but I was thinking, “LOL…yeah, right. What are the odds of that happening?” So, I asked Zac to buy some pregnancy tests for me. I tested in the morning, two days in a row, both were clearly positive.

Cue morning sickness. Or, for me, all day nausea. And exhaustion. And the thought of eating any Indian food completely repulsed me, even the smell of chicken biriyani (which was my favorite) totally grossed me out. And still does (at this point). But luckily, I have been able to buy and eat Kellogg’s Corn Flakes, salty crackers, ICEE pops, pasta, and Maggi noodles (the Indian equivalent of Ramen). These are good and all for my nausea, but what I WANT to eat is as follows: garlic breadsticks, mashed potatoes with gravy, macaroni and cheese, bacon, tacos, pancakes, a turkey sub with tons of pickles and Italian dressing, a bagel with cream cheese, sweet potato casserole, and maybe a chili dog or two. I WANT EVERYTHING I CAN’T HAVE. And it’s not just “Yeah, that stuff sounds pretty good right now.” It’s “Oh my goodness, I would hike up a giant mountain if there was a turkey sub at the top.” Like, for real, Zac could be taking me to the nicest Indian restaurants in Calicut, and I would be fantasizing about a Crunchwrap Supreme from Taco Bell.

Back to the story – I was whisked away to the Malabar Institute of Medical Science (MIMS) hospital once again to see my wonderful doc, Dr. Tajunnisa, who made me get a blood test for the absolute result. And after congratulating us and feeling my tummy to make sure things felt normal, Dr. Tajunnisa thankfully prescribed me some anti-nausea pills. My new best friends. I can now at least function close to what a human being should be.

And it’s already amazing how, in an instant, my priorities have absolutely changed. Every decision now is tinged with “Will this be good for baby?” Seriously, everything we buy that we don’t necessarily need, I am thinking “This money could be saved for baby.” I had been planning this trip for us to take in December to see the Taj Mahal and the Himalayas, and now, well, I just don’t care if we ever do it (although we still eventually will go, I’m sure). I’m having a baby, and that’s more wonderful and beautiful than 20,000 Taj Mahals combined. PLUS, now we have decided we should go to Pennsylvania during that time because, if given the choice between the Himalayas and shoving my mom’s Christmas cookies down my foodhole, I’m picking the cookies. Ok, that’s only part of the reason. I really, really, really want to see my family before I pop out baby.

And let’s talk for a minute about how wonderful my husband has been. He has been bringing me takeout food everyday because I am too useless to cook right now (our kitchen makes me gag). And it’s not easy finding stuff I like; I did like eating Indian breads and curry for a while, but now my stomach has started a mutiny against that as well. So, now this is how it usually goes: Zac – “What do you want me to get for lunch?” Me – “Macaroni and cheese.” Zac – “…..I’ll just bring you a veg burger.” And if I think I’m concerned about baby, he’s concerned times 1,000. And when I am jolted awake in the middle of the night by nausea pangs, he is right there awake with me and soothes me back into slumber. He’s the best man for the job, and I can’t wait to see him as a dad.

Update June 27, 2013 – I went for my first ultrasound yesterday. Having an ultrasound done here is a bit different than in the US, from what I can remember. Because there are so many people, the radiologists don’t have much time for bedside manner; they just have to keep the patients going in and out as quickly as possible. We left early yesterday in an attempt to beat the crowd (it didn’t work), and I was ushered in maybe about 40 minutes after we arrived. Zac had to go for an X-ray at the time of my ultrasound, so he didn’t go in (and don’t worry – it was just for a general check-up). This time, my radiologist was a woman, which made me a little more comfortable, but she still sat there stone-faced through much of the scan. I was so desperate to blurt out, “Is there even anything THERE? Say something!!” After about 5 minutes, she finally got a slight smile on her face, turned the screen towards me and said, “Here is the live fetus.” And there was our baby, swimming in and out of focus. I got a big, stupid grin on my face, a lump in my throat, and tears in my eyes, and all I managed to squeak was “So tiny!” This made the radiologist smile even wider, and she replied, “Yes, everything looks fine.”

After we got the results, and I cooed over the pic of Little Bean (my nickname is Bean), we went out for a celebratory lunch at one of our faves, M Grill in the Focus Mall. I had homemade primavera pasta, which was AWESOME and exactly something I had been craving, and Zac celebrated like any man’s man would – he ordered a steak. After this, we went back to the hospital for my appointment with Dr. Tajunnisa. I will be so sad to leave her because she worked abroad in the UK for quite some time, so she knows how fussy white people can be. And she’s okay with it. Anyway, she literally gave us a thumb’s up after reading the scan results, gave me my approximate due date (January 25, 2014), felt my tummy some more, and sent us on our merry way. Okay, so there was more involved in the appointment than what I wrote, but you get the point.

Since my due date is in January, it looks like I won’t get my wish of shoving Christmas cookies down my foodhole, but I am planning to go soon (Doc gave the okay on traveling after 4 months). I am excited for it, but I am sure Zac will be shocked at my size when I arrive back here.

And, just so everyone knows (or whoever reads this), I am delivering here in Kerala, and our kid will be able to be a US citizen. We just have to file lots paperwork and go for an appointment at the closest US Consulate.

One last thing – we are moving to Trivandrum/Thiruvananthapuram in about a week, so this may be my final post until we get settled down there.

Our kid's first Bon Jovi t-shirt. We bought this back in January. No lie. — Our kid’s first Bon Jovi t-shirt. We bought this back in January. No lie.

PS – My nausea is almost gone, I think. YAY!

The Joy of Cleaning Fish

Disclaimer: If seeing fish guts and blood bother you, skip this post.

Remember how, in one of my earlier posts, I insisted that my life here was not all glitz and traveling? Well, I am going to prove this today.

Keralites love their fish, and I can totally understand why – IT’S ALL FRESH. And, considering we have fish stands right down the road from us, we eat fish a lot. Which, in turn, means I clean fish. A lot. And I like to think I have become quite an expert at it. I have de-faced and de-gutted both big and small fish. I feel the small fish, like sardines and kora, are the most difficult to clean because there are so many of them. Unfortunately, for me, the small fish are my favorites – they taste the best and are generally the healthiest. Especially sardines. They’re like WonderFish.

One great thing about the giant, empty house we live in is that there is a work area off of the kitchen. It’s almost open air, so I can clean the fish without the kitchen stinking up too bad. A downside – sometimes, if I take too long cleaning, ants will start to creep in the windows because they smell braaaiiins (like zombies. I really hate ants). Anyway, here’s my work area:

From top left: Sardines, salt (to put in water), pan of water, aluminum foil, scissors and knife.

I used to use newspaper when cleaning, but I found out that using aluminum foil holds the fish “yuck” much better, and that means I don’t have to clean as much when it’s over. So, this is my process: cut off fins, scrape off scales (if any), rip off the face, remove the gills, cut it open, remove the entrails, plunk it in the salt water. Repeat until done. Believe it or not, I find cleaning fish to be a great stress reliever, and it’s pretty good exercise for my arms.

It's a dirty job but somebody's gotta do it. Especially if that somebody's hubby loves to eat fish. — It’s a dirty job but somebody’s gotta do it. Especially if that somebody’s hubby loves to eat fish.

My least favorite part. It's the smelliest. — My least favorite part. It’s the smelliest.

Before dropping it in the saltwater. Lovely, no?

And that’s the process. It completely grossed me out the first 10 times I did it, but now I don’t think twice. The only time I still get the willies is when I find a foreign object lodged in a fish’s mouth. Freaks me out, especially when it’s another fish. This last time I cleaned, however, I found something a little more pleasant.

Little green sand dollar! Try to ignore the slime on my hands.

After the fish are cleaned, Zac takes over most of the time, makes a masala paste, and marinates the fish in the paste. Then, we fry it. We have that, along with moru or tomato curry, and beans mehrukkupuratti. Other times, I make fish curry or meen peera. If it’s a really big fish, like a black pomfret, Zac will slather it in spices, wrap it in aluminum foil, and grill it on our tabletop electric grill.

Whenever I clean sardines or cook with them, I remember how I used to get excited whenever Walgreens would have canned sardines on sale. You know the ones I’m talking about – the canned sardines with the peel back lid, loaded with salt. I even thought it was exotic when I noticed they packaged them in hot sauce and mustard, and now I’m making complex Indian dishes out of them. IN INDIA. Awesome, right? I know I think it’s pretty awesome. 🙂

Ayurveda Makes You Feel Better (Bettah?)

Or at least Ayurvedic massages do. To read details about all of Ayurveda, I would check this out because it’s a whole system of traditional Indian medicine. Zac and I had three Ayurvedic massages done in the Andaman Islands at Barefoot resorts. Up until then, Zac had been insisting that Ayurvedic massages bring nothing but problems because he had gotten sick each time he previously had one. However, after our first massage at Barefoot, we both felt like brand spankin’ new humans. We then decided once we got back to Calicut we were going to find a good place to go for semi-routine massages.

We decided to go to Kadavu Resort for our next experience in Ayurveda. This place by itself is totally relaxing; it’s right next to the Kallai river and the traditional Kerala style buildings just add to its charm.

We booked for body and face massages and also a steam bath. Here’s what my massage room looked like:

I had a gorgeous view of the river. I only had a few seconds to really take it in before my massage therapist told me to get naked. And here’s the thing – it’s not like in the US where they give you your privacy so you can slink under a nice soft blanket with your underwear still on. Nope, my therapists have watched me strip down completely. And, once you’re nude, they put on what I can only describe as a disposable sumo wrestler diaper. I’m sure that is not what it’s called, and it makes the whole thing sound bad, but it’s not. I’ll get to that. After you’ve come to terms with being naked in front of a total stranger, they make you sit on a stool and begin by massaging your head and neck. My massage therapist began by saying a prayer and blessing me by touching the top of my head, my palms, and my feet with coconut oil. She told me she prayed for good health.

Having my head rubbed or massaged is one of my favorite things in the world, so when my therapist began rubbing my head, it was amaaaazing. She put coconut oil all through my hair, and then rubbed my scalp in circular motions. As if that wasn’t good enough, Ayurvedic massage therapists do this technique where they tap your head with the sides of their hands, almost like a karate chop. If you have long hair, they also do a technique where they twist and pull the hair lightly. If it sounds painful, let me be the first to say that it is sooo not. I had to keep from drooling on myself as she was doing all of this.

After this was done, my therapist had to help me get on the massage table because I was already a little too relaxed. More warm coconut oil (and I’m talking lots) was put on me and she began a traditional Abhyangam massage. Abhyangam massages involve a lot of rubbing in repeated motions, especially if a sore muscle is discovered (or at least that’s what my therapist did). I won’t bore you with details of this, but my fave parts were when she ran her thumb directly up and down my spinal column, when she rubbed my feet and all of my toes (individually!), and when she beat up my calf muscles.

Normally, this is when the experience is finished and the therapist helps you to the shower and lets you rinse off the gallon of oil, but we had booked the steam also. So, my therapist had to help me off the table and to the sauna for two reasons: 1) I was slippery and 2) I was almost comatose from being so relaxed.

In the small bowl is the "gallon" of oil — In the small bowl is the “gallon” of oil

The sauna was exactly what was expected – hot and steamy. I was sweating so much that when my therapist opened the sauna, she actually laughed at me. Then, she had to wipe off my feet (sweaty, ewww) and assist me to the shower. At the last place I had an Ayurvedic massage done, my therapist helped me to the shower and then let me go on my own, but not at Kadavu. My therapist there first scrubbed me down with a green gram dal mixture and then shampooed my hair. What.

My experience of getting a massage at Kadavu was great, and it was an awesome way to celebrate our second first anniversary (we had two weddings for those who don’t know). We stayed and had dinner on the balcony at Oottupura restaurant, and that was delicious, especially the chocolate mousse that came inside an edible chocolate cup. I was like a kid on Christmas morning with that.

Relaxed and unbelievably happy.

Things I Have Learned (So Far)

I’m trying this blog thing again, and I figured this may be a good topic. Moving to India has been both the easiest thing and the hardest thing I have ever done. Easy – because I finally got to be with my totally awesome husband and live in an exotic country for a while. Hard – because I had to leave behind my totally awesome family and live in an exotic country for a while. I am still adjusting to the cultural differences, and I’ll probably still be adjusting to those differences when the time comes for us to leave here. And when I say “adjusting,” what I mean is if there is something I don’t like or don’t want to do, I’ll dig in my stubborn American heels until my husband points out that it doesn’t matter if I don’t want to or don’t like it, it’s going to happen no matter what because that’s just how it is. Also, I feel in my process of adjusting I have become irrational about really stupid things. How else can I explain bursting in to hysterical tears when I see tons of ants on my kitchen counter? Or, better yet, my epic temper tantrum when the power goes out for the fifth time in one day? I should probably stop making myself sound bad. And, honestly, most of the time, I am going with the flow over here. It’s more rare than not when I have a moment of stubbornness. Because, if you’re not willing to go with the flow, you will not like India. It’s loud and it’s brash, and it’s peaceful and quiet, and it’s overpopulated, and it’s full of magical wilderness, and it’s full of the most beautiful sights and it’s full of heartbreaking poverty. You get my point. Anyway, cue the list of things I have learned so far while living in India (this will be an ongoing thing):

You can live happily with a lot less than you think. For me, this may be because Zac and I have been living in a temporary situation since October 2012, but still, it’s been one of (if not the most) the important things I have learned while living here. When Zac and I moved in to our house, all we had was a bed, because we were told Zac’s institute’s hostel would be ready in a few weeks, and we would have a furnished apartment there. When those few weeks passed, we were told it would be a few more weeks, and so on and so forth, and now we have come to April and still no completed hostel. So, all we had for the first two and a half months was a bed. The bed was followed slowly by a refrigerator, which was followed by the internet, so I would have something to do during the day. But that’s it. That’s all we have – bed, fridge, and internet. And it’s been awesome in a lot of ways. Zac and I spend so much time talking or cooking together instead of zoning out in front of the television (although now we have a way to watch CSI:NY every night hehe). I’ve got to be honest – most things we own are unnecessary. But, on the other hand, there are times when I daydream about having a washing machine.
You’ll do things you never, ever thought you would do. I’m just going to name these off – ate fish with its head still attached, learned to clean fish without wanting to vomit, rode an elephant, bathed an elephant, kayaked on the sea, killed spiders the size of human hand, killed cockroaches that were quite large too, not killed other spiders in hopes they would take care of the ant problem, watched salamanders climb the wall to eat said spiders that you were hoping would kill said ants, washing clothes by hand, taking cold showers every morning.
There really is a world outside of the United States. For real.
Like, really. And they are just as proud of their culture and country as you are, if not more so. This also means that India does some things better than the US. For example, public transportation (trains, buses, and auto-rickshaws), healthcare (affordability of care anyway), and education are leaps above what the US has.
Stuff is actually pretty normal here. I’m talking Western standards. I remember, before I left, I had people asking, half-jokingly, “Do they, y’know, drive cars over there?” The answer to that is “YES.” There are cars. Plenty of cars with all of the different bells and whistles that US cars have. Something else I’ve noticed, with great pleasure, is they have hilariously dumb commercials like we do. Check this one out – and this one too – and then this last one – LOVE. Moving on from commercials, in the cities, they have coffee shops everywhere with baristas, just like home (I don’t even know if they are called “baristas” here.) And, in the various stores I have been to, they have 8 million different types of face cream that I can’t decide on….just like home!

Many things are easy to deal with here – many others are not so easy, extremely difficult even. But, please, stick with me on here as I fumble my way in to adapting to India. And bear with me as I learn how to write for an audience again. I haven’t done this since college. I promise I won’t be preachy in all of my posts – most of the time I’ll just want to share my adventures.